Safety in Numbers (unless you need your dignity in order to feel safe)

I don't think it's going to come as much of a surprise to anyone when I say, I'm a bit of a coward. Okay, I'm a lot of coward. Alright, you win, I'm the biggest yellow-belly sooky pants since... ever.

You all know I'm scared witless about my potential first meeting with an Australian spider of the bitey kind (which hasn't happened yet, although I did get terrorized by a pretty mean set of ants yesterday that appeared in my bed! It's too fresh, though. Not ready to talk about that trauma just yet). 

It turns out my first real Aussie freak-out had nothing to do with insects of any kind.

I've always boasted that I love storms, heck, my parents used to have to drag me out of electrical storms when I was a kid because I wanted a close look at the lightning. (Yes, I know, it's a miracle I made it this far). 

What I did not realize is that Kiwi thunder and lightning is not even of the same species as Australian thunder and lightning.

Like everything about this big, beautiful land, electrical storms are bigger and more spectacular than any I ever saw in NZ--including in Ranfurly which had the most spectacular storms I'd ever seen before.

The other morning I saw a weather bulletin on TV that told us to expect thunder and lightning later in the day.

"DJ! We're getting thunder and lightning!" I couldn't wait.

"Big woop," DJ said. She was only hiding her excitement because she didn't want to encourage me, obviously.

Nothing on this planet makes a girl feel the superiority of humanity like snuggling inside in the warm while mother nature throws lightning bolts around. I got ready for the onslaught by dressing in my grownup's onesie, opening the blinds all the way on my window so I'd have a great view of the flashes, and sorting out some books to read while everything else had to be unplugged in case of power surges.

I bounced in my bed when the first flash came. This was going to be Kick-Ass. 

Then the thunder hit.

My windows rattled, the ceiling hummed, the light fitting buzzed and I...

...well I got out of bed and ran to DJ and SnL's room. "Can I stay in here with you guys?"

Yeah. Embarrassing.

In all fairness to myself, even DJ the Dauntless jumped a couple of times. I mean, that lightning had FORKS in it! Kiwi lightning does not have forks. Okay, one time I saw forked lightning, but it was a long way away and it didn't look like this forked lightning. The thunder, though. Holy moly! It came from all directions, one peel after another followed by spectacular flashes and the lights going dim.

It was about then that I discovered I also get electrical storm migraines. Ah, bless.

I spent about an hour in the the kids' room, being taken care of and totally out-braved by my daughter, her partner, and their 10-month-old son. At the time, dignity was not my first priority. Eventually the thunder sounded a good safe distance away and I wanted to salvage some of my storm-cred by watching the last of the flashes in my room.

"Bah, it wasn't that bad. I'm going to bed. Night!" I said.

"Uh huh," said DJ.

Let the record show that I am an idiot.

I got out of the door and peeked in the kitchen to see if there were any Tim Tams left (a fine chocolate cookie native to Australia). About then, the biggest peel of thunder of the whole night hit. The floor vibrated, the walls shook, the windows rattled and the power went out.

I couldn't breathe well enough to scream.

I burst back into the kids' bedroom, slamming the door behind me, and they burst into peels of laughter even louder than the thunder had been.

"Two! Hahaha, Two!" DJ cried.

"Huh? What?" I panted.

In between snorts she managed to answer, "When the thunder hit I started counting down from five to see how long you'd take to get here!"

Wiping his eyes, SnL finished with: "She only got to two!"

Brats.

.